you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
