I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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