My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
