i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
