Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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