Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
