I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
