I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this just has baby written all over it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
