I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sarcasm needs its own font
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
