y did u give ur computer a hand job?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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