like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
