I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
