you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
