I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
