He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
