I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
