i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
