a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
