Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
