What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
