Where did you get a picture of my penis
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
