took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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