is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
