i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
