listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
