so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
