How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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