Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
