my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
jump out the window naked night went bad
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
