Say something about gay babies.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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