Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
