His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
