I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
