High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
