I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
