Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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