hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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