Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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