Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
