You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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