you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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