Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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