scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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