Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize