Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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