mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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