When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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