we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This baby is an asshole
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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