what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
