I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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