I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
