Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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