): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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