All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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