dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
