I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
